Thursday, July 28, 2011

Ups and Downs of Sibling Relationship

It feels so good when I see both kids of mine play peacefully together. I begin to think they will have a close sibling to share their happiness and sadness in the future. Jin Hui, the big sister feels she is no longer lonely with her little brother’s companionship.

When she visited the new born baby Hong Jin at the hospital, she cried terribly when she saw me with the new born baby in the baby room. We thought she was jealous because she never share mommy with anyone for the long period of 4 years. But, no, we were wrong; we finally got her answer that she cried because mommy did not wait for her to meet the baby brother. Her love for her baby brother started since my pregnancy, I guess. She kept asking about when will her baby brother came out from my stomach.

However, things were different after the new arrival. The family attention shifted to the new baby and she started to feel jealous and hide at a corner to complain that nobody likes her. As her mother, I would try to spend more time with her, encourage her to play and have fun with her little brother, and tell her to take care and protect her little brother. I think she will gradually get used to share her mom’s love.

Nevertheless, the sibling rivalry happened almost every day after the little brother grows bigger and stronger. Big sister, Jin Hui is always the one who cry first, and little Hong Jin to show he is pity too. We just need to repeat so that they do not hurt each other but to take care of each other. I really hope they will grow up to share a close sibling bonding and to take good care of each other when we are not there for them someday.

How do you help fostering a good sibling relationships? Do your kids complaint about bias? Do we always have the older sibling to let the younger one play with their favorite toys first?

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