My son does not feel he belongs to me.

Recently Hong Jin was being asked: “Who does Hong Jin belongs to”? and he answered “Kakak”. Kakak means the Indonesian maid who takes care of him since he was born. When he was asked, “Who does your sister belongs to?” He answered “mommy lah”.

Then, we told him “Can you call your kakak Mommy since you belong to her?” He denied.  What are all the reasoning to these answers? This is the sad story for a busy working mother. For me, I always feel sorry to him since I spent less time with him, and make him feel I care his sister more than him, so his sister belongs to me, but he doesn't.  My little Hong Jin, mommy wants to let you know mommy loves you both; mommy is just too busy and tired to talk, or play with you.

The good thing is I know my maid really takes good care of him, and makes him feel safe and happy.

Luckily, deep inside him, mommy is still mommy, *<>*

Private time with  the little son

我家有儿不肯上学When my boy refused to go to school

宏缙今年四岁了，应该上幼儿园了。打从去年开始，我就常告诉他要带他上学了， 而他当然说不要。大家和他打趣说，不去上学就要买只牛给他牵，他不懂就理，还说好，还说不过不要太大只，因为他的房门太小不能进。我已经知道这小子非常难搞。半骗半拉的，每天都要哭闹一番的，终于也把他带到学校去，陪他三个星期，让他熟悉环境，老师。可是，似乎他还是非常抗拒上学，每天睡醒第一句话，就是哭说不要上学，看得他婆婆心痛死了，怎么办？做妈妈的心好挫折，眼看别的小朋友都可以适应了，老师们说把他带来，不要再陪他，当时我还在犹豫，让他哭，孤孤单单的哭真的有帮助吗？

直到和院长的一番话，我才了解到为什么不可陪他。当我们在学校陪他，他总是紧靠着我们，老师们也没机会接触他，我们不在，才能让他对老师产生依赖。就这样，我先告诉他妈妈要去做工，一下子就来带他回家，他很害怕，一直拉着我的手，怕我离开。我让有经验的院长和他说话，乘他不注意时离开。躲起来看他，哭得好凄惨，哭到呕吐。。。。

情形终於慢慢好转了，院长说他适应得很好，哭得少了， 还可以和小朋友一起玩了，可他还是睡醒哭不要上学。孩子，我们要一起加油。遇到同样问题的妈妈们，也要加油！

Most parents faced the same situation like me when they brought their kids to preschool. Accompanying them to familiarize the school and the teachers for 1-2 weeks is a must for some kids. My boy struggles hard not to go to school, having bad dream, begging not to bring him to school.

When we are around, he always sit close to us, afraid that we will leave him alone.This give no chance to the teacher to get close with him. I finally realized the point that we must leave him and not accompaning him in school(after he had familiar with the environment in school) is to get the him to build  trust with the teachers.This really works, my boy now cried less and can play with friends...although he still crying when we want to get him to school in the morning.

不陪他的第三天，贴心的院长拍的。
Taken by his teacher on the third day of non-accompanying.

Being Princess ....On Her Own

My girl, took part in her school's costume competition last 2 week. I was in China that time and not able to help her to dress up and make up. Luckily her friend's mother helped her to make up, and another friend's mother snapped this nice picture for me. 

All girls dream to become princess...she is no exception. She was now brave to walk on stage and even showed some posts.

She seems to enjoy participating in those school activities now. The first Chinese poem citing, she was still too nervous to speak out, audience can't even hear her voice. But the second Chinese story telling, she told me she was brave to speak out loud. Although she is still far from winning a prize, I am proud of her because she is in the journey of gaining self-confidence.

She later told me she tight her hair nicely, put on the crown and she was so beautiful.

三岁的叛逆和自我意识

虽说是养了2个孩子，对于管教孩子还是不能得心应手。常常被自己老妈投诉孩子坏，一点就大喊大叫。可是，老妈呀，你可知道我也是速手无策。

迈进三岁的宏缙，开始不听话了，我行我素，喜欢做的东西不给就大哭，我想这就是叛逆期了。常爱拿扫把当刀枪， 挥来挥去，我们要他收起，他当耳边风， 什么东西都要自己做，自己冲凉，自己吃饭，昨天看我帮他姐姐挖耳朵，他竟然说他要帮姐姐挖，可见他觉得自己的能力范围还蛮大的。当我看着他拿花洒自己冲凉的那一刹那，小小的身躯，水都不能准确的喷到头发，心想这孩子开始要独立自主了。

看了专家写关于三岁的自我意识，用哭来引人注意，还说没有叛逆期的孩子不正常， 因为会比较没有意志力，（暗暗自喜），只要做妈妈的细心引导， 孩子是会安然度过这过度期的，难免宽心了点。

说到我这儿子，他还是有很多可爱的地方。昨天让他睡觉时听到他改歌词，妈妈唱，“小宝宝，快睡觉，明天一早起来”，他接着唱，‘小宝宝，快睡觉，明天一早起来吃lollipop"。三岁的他也常让人出乎意料吧！

他也想像大人一样开火煮菜，玩得不亦乐乎。

向高爬是男儿本色？

Kuala Lumpur trip

Recently during the mid school holiday, we brought our kids to Kuala Lumpur, a long trip i consider because they have never leave home for such a long time - 4 days.

We first brought them to KLCC, to see the beautiful Malaysian-pround Twin Tower. They first "wah" and excited when seeing so many sky-rocketed buildings. Later, for some reason it seem bored for them already(maybe due to long hours sitting in the car, because their father didn't know the direction well). We visited the Aquaria in KLCC, which i think not bad to visit, the most giant view is the long tunnel where we saw 2 big sharks, monster fish(魔鬼鱼), tortoise and many other unknown fishes.

Giant monster fish...just realize the body's bottom looks like a smiling face!

Very hungry Pirana fish, leave only bones!

A giant cylinder aquarium.... magnificent view!

"What is that fish, mommy?"......A fantastic experience for the lttle one!太多鱼了，真是目不暇给！

A family photo in front of big fake shark.

The next day and the following days, we were out of ideas of where to bring them to. So, we brought them to The Mines to have the expensive boat rides(~RM 25 per adult for 20 minutes), to feed fishes(this was the most happy moment for kids).

Boat rides at "The Mines"...凉风阵阵，蛮不错啦。

Ice-cream time!

While hanging out at "The Garden", kids were attracted to the beautiful water fountain.

Finally at the last night we stayed in K.L., the tired little Hong Jin begged us to go home. When we asked him whose "home" to go to, he said " Hong Jin's home". Although we have wonderful time during the trip, still the most comfortable place is our home. "Home Sweet Home", even to the little one.

A mother's worry of lower English in Chinese Primary School

My daughter, Jin Hui has been attending Chinese Primary School for 4 months. In Malaysia, the Chinese Primary School  means teaching and communicating in Chinese where the students are also being taught Malay and English languages but regretfully English is only taught 1 hour per week.

Basically, she likes the school, the teachers and friends and begin to like learning Chinese. Writing in Chinese was a suffer for her when she was in kindergarten because Chinese was introduced to her at a later stage after she learnt the easier English writing. I am very thankful to her teachers who are very detailing in correcting her minor Chinese writing error. I could foresee she will master Chinese language very well in the next few years.

Most of the school buildings are funded by Malaysian Chinese public,
the names of the major donators are written on the buildings.

3-storey classroom, to be shared by both morning and afternoon classes.

However, the disadvantage to send to Chinese Primary School is they are getting less chance to study English, which is undeniable important for her future life, either in higher education or working. How can I help her to be competent in English as well, especially able to speak in English loud without shy? Besides, I am quite surprise to find out how simple and easy is their Standard One English's textbook.  They are still teaching "good morning, good afternoon... and other simple single words, which they have learned well 2-3 years before in their kindergarten. They never have an English spelling while they have Chinese and Malay spelling every week. Most of the Malaysian children attended 2-3 years of preschool and already have some min. explosure on English, and i think some changes must be made on enhancing the level of the English standard, but not to debate over and over again about teaching Mathematics and Science in English. Just remember ~ children are able to learn as much as they are challenged. 

Jin Hui and her cousin in school uniform

Exploring Grandma's Garden

My little son loves to explore his grandma's garden...almost every evening except the raining days. He learns to name the trees, the fruits, enjoying touching the plants too.

He sometimes accompanys the grandma to pick the chilli. Maybe someday he can help her grandma to plant the trees, to clear the grasses, and learn the art of growing.

Give me a SMILE before our exploration!

The delicous and juicy pineapple...even a toddler likes it!

Grandma planted this so-called"mulberry tree"
for the joy of little Hong Jin's picking.

"Youtun" tree, the leaves are believed to treat cancer.
We sometimes blended with apples to make juices.

Picking wild flowers...when asked who to give,
disappointedly not to mommy, but to throw away..! Oh! What a boy!

天真的两岁

忙得透不过气， 还是要偷些时间写下孩子们成长的点点滴滴， 好让这些回忆在老来细细回味。

宏缙两岁四个月，讲的话有时像大人。

芊卉姐姐被妈妈骂时， 他会看着妈妈说， “妈妈骂姐姐啊? 姐姐没有听话的喔?"

有时被人说他不可以做这样,做那样, 他会很快的反应:"我都没有!" 一副清白的样子.

他超爱他的被单, 我说妈咪没有, 他就会帮我盖一点, 说他跟妈咪share share.

妈咪陪他睡觉, 突然他说要去冰箱看看有什么, 看到有糖果, 他会以退为进, 先说;"妈咪, 暗暗不可以吃糖糖的, 是吗?' 妈咪说是的. 过了一分钟, 他又用同一招,结果妈咪累了先问他, 是不是要吃糖糖? 他才点头说是, 妈咪只好妥协了.

妈咪要出门去做工,婆婆帮忙把他骗进家里,不让他看见妈咪出去, 连续8天,婆婆都用同一招都还管用, 就是说去婆婆房间看蟑螂,他却每次都信以为真,  孩子就是这么的天真!

Jin Hui's own Identity card

Recently I bought a new wallet for Jin Hui, so that she could bring money to school to buy food at canteen.
One day, surprisingly i saw she made her own "ic" to put in her new wallet. She once asked about my identity card in my wallet and wonder why she doesn't have one, and i told her to make her own one.
She really keep in mind and made her own.



She even draw a picture of her...isn't it cute?



A Lovely "Gao San Qing" Dance

Remember Jin Hui's graduation dance of "Gao San Qing"? My 2 years old Hong Jin can dance too! We were amazed to see he danced when we sang the song one day. He is not shy at all to present in front of crowds.

We like the final part when he say "xie xie, thank you and terima kasih"(means thank you in chinese and Malay).

The funniest part now is he will immediately lie on the floor whenever we sing this song regardless of what he is doing.

Happy Chinese New Year 2012

Happy Chinese New Year 2012! It was a fun occasion for the kids not just because of the ang pow, soft drinks (only available at home during Chinese New Year), fireworks, but also precious time with their parents who have a week of holiday this year.

Little Hong Jin was so excited to meet with many relatives(old faces and new faces) and greeted them with his style of “Gong Xi Fa Cai, Hong Pao Na Lai”. He loves to watch the fireworks; whenever there is a firework sound from the neighborhood, he will quickly left whatever he is doing and find his father to grab him high to see the fireworks.

I can feel he is uneasy to let me go to work after a week of close companion.

Sister Jin Hui was on the other hand happy with no school day. She now begin to know the value of money, and kept negotiating with me to keep more of her ang pow money. Hope she will learn to calculate the money soon and no longer being cheated.(She was being cheated by a new friend to exchange RM 2 with 3 coins total to 80cents but she thought she was getting advantage).

Christmas Tree At Home

Two days before Christmas, Jin Hui asked, “Mummy, do we celebrate Christmas?” To her little mind, Christmas is a fun festival with Christmas present ….Santa Claus …and Christmas Tree but she never has all these! Haha, but she knows Santa Claus is fake; she told me “our world does not have Santa Claus”. It is true (because she never get surprise present from Santa Claus) but not totally true.

Well, we couldn’t bring her Santa Claus, but we can surprise them with Christmas present and Christmas tree AT HOME! Yes, why not we decorate our own Christmas tree.



Being so happy with the Christmas tree!

Ta..lah…here is our little Christmas tree, just the same height as little Hong Jin. He will be busy all day picking the ornament. They are also very excited to tell everybody that we have a Christmas tree at home! I think it warmed their little hearts; at least the Christmas is something to them this year.





As expected, he cannot allow his hand not to touch.





Attention is more on the christmas tree than the camera.







Are we over-rewarding the kids?

We give prizes for kids when they perform excellent in exam, finish their homework or helping with the household chores. I think modern parents are so addicted to this rewarding method and so am I. The situation can be sometimes out of control that the kids threaten back that he/she wouldn’t do what we want them to do if their demands are not fulfilled.  The questions rose: are we over-rewarding the kids?

After some reading, there are few things I need to be careful when I reward them next time.

1)      Reward based on good behavior not on good result

Children that have grown based on expecting reward can feel disappointed when it does not come. I once heard a story about a primary school student who expressed deep disappointment when he scored only 7A over 8 subjects. It was like the end of the world for him. When being asked further, it was the reward that he doesn’t get that upset him but not his feeling on the grade. Could you imagine whether he will still study hard when the rewards go away?

A long term more effective way is to reward the good studying habit rather than the result or score. This is of course more difficult to measure or monitor compared to reward based on their exam report, but it is more important that we instill their good habit or behavior since kids to ensure perseverance.

2)      Reduce the reward frequency

We need to increase the value of the reward to suit their ever increasing desire if we reward too much. After they have all sorts of toys, books, are them still be interested if you reward them with small items like sticker, coloring books or pretty pencil box? No, they will ask for more and I guess they will certainly ask for an expensive ipad or even smart phone one day.

Instead of rewarding, we need to help them focus on the self-satisfaction derived from the achievement they have made. It is the self-enjoyment that fuel further learning.

No more rewarding on finishing homework, but to reward based on self-discipline.

Hope I can reward her of taking good care of his brother one day.

Kinder graduation

There is going to be another 15 years I shall witness my daughter’s real university graduation….provided that she works hard enough. Now, it is a kinder version of her graduation; we are proud of her to see how she has developed the various skills like reading, writing, coloring, self-confidence, interpersonal skills and brave to perform in front of the public.  

She is still a very shy girl; she almost cried during her 4 years old dancing performance and was very stressful during the 5 years old performance, but this time I can see she was more relaxed and had fun. Thank you for all the teachers who have guided her and given her the opportunities to present in front of public.  

http://youtu.be/20HjbxSMLg0

A Big Big Happy Birthday To My Son and Daughter

  

Time flies and this November is my son’s TWO years old birthday and my daughter’s SIX years old birthday. As usual we throw a party for them to invite all the family members to celebrate together. Except this time my daughter invited her own friend…yes, she has her own friends now which I am happy for her that she began to socialize.

Can't wait to go to see his birthday cake

As for my little son, the highlight is while we sang the “Happy Birthday” song in front of the birthday cake. He was so excited about this moment; sing the song, blow the candle, and then cut the cake. Before everyone began singing, he was the first one to sing out loud “Happy birthday to you” and made everyone laughing. Then, he followed everyone to sing the whole “Happy Birthday” song and impatiently waiting for our instruction to blow the candle.

 

Happy Birthday, my dear son and daughter, May You Two Grow Up Happily and Healthily!

Sing Out Loud "Happy Birthday To Me"!





Feel funny after seeing everyone laughed at his own singing!



Having fun at Dino Trek

If your children love dinosaurs, why don’t bring them to the Dino Trek at the Bukit Mertajam’s Jusco Mall, Penang. We just brought our kids there last weekend and they were having great fun there. The admission fee for children is only RM 3.00 per person and for adult, if I remember correctly is RM 8.00 per person.

The owner, PETRONAS might invest much in this Dino Trek to make the dinosaurs so real and “alive”. I love the dinosaur’s egg parts which the eggs hatch and dinosaur babies came out. They looked so cute and they said the dinosaurs parent also take good care of their babies.   

My little son was a bit scared at first because of the giant size of the dinosaurs. But he and his sister enjoyed most at the dinosaur’s fossil finding sump. The big sister said it is like playing sand at the beach but with “air-conditioner on”; didn’t understand much about fossil finding actually.

There are also some games there for bigger kids, like gun shooting dinosaurs, running with dinosaurs and educational stuffs about dinosaurs.  

The giant dinosaur...it moves lively.

My favorite part :the dinosaur eggs and babies.

Jin Hui actions...shooting dinosaurs

The kids favorite...fossil finding or playing sand?

Show Me Victory Sign!

One day, we taught Hong Jin to show the “Victory” sign with his finger while we took his picture. He first learned seriously, see how he looked at his finger and puzzled how to show only the index finger and middle finger but to hide the others. He laughed finally after multiple tries and he just able to show ALL FIVE fingers instead of TWO fingers.

I think we need to teach him more about this, may be this is what terms as “eye-hand coordination” which is an important skill development as toddler. He also cannot do the “THUMBS UP” sign. Haha, he will show the index finger, but not the thumbs. Never mind, my little son, you will learn one day.

1. How to hide the fingers?



2. Never mind, I am just too little to know.



3. See, at least I can show FIVE fingers!

Both Kids Are Sick With Food Poisoning

Last Saturday morning, my daughter was down with high fever and vomiting after every eating/drinking. The doctor diagnosed her with food poisoning and gave her the medicine for fever, vomiting and reduce air in the stomach, luckily there is no need of antibiotic because it is caused by virus most probably. The situation seems okay in the evening and she asked for many foods to eat after a day of fasting because of the feel of vomiting. Her serious high fever come back again in the first night and finally recovered on the second day’s evening.

And yesterday, my son also began to show the same symptom, perhaps being spread from his sister. He has mild fever, tired and also vomited everything he ate/drank (about 4 times in a night). So, I have no choice to give him some of the anti-vomiting medicine that the doctor subscribed to his sister but at lower dosage. The funny thing is this little fella likes to drink medicine, he kept asking for more medicine ..."I want, I want". Unlike his sister, we need to pursuade with both soft and hard methods to have her drink the medicine. After like 20 minutes, I gave him about 4 ounces of milk (he drinks 6 ounces normally) and he vomited lightly after that. I felt more relief because he can begin to take some fluids after the medicine.  We need to keep close monitor of his situation then.

Important thing to remember when kids have this situation is to keep them hydrated with plenty of fluids especially if with diarrhea and introduce drinks/food slowly so that their stomach can adjust to the food intake. If they have high fever, put a wet towel on their forehead to quickly dissipate the heat.

Homemade Sushi

After the long raya and merdeka holiday, I feel fresh and much energetic, so decided to try making sushi at home . Recently my husband is so addicted to sushi, especially the eel sushi, plus my daughter loves the maki sushi too(She doesn’t like the eel sushi, but only likes the sushi with cucumber filling; the cheapest sushi). We can easily find all ingredients necessary to make sushi in local supermarket except the eel that I have to order it from a friend whose mum is operating a small sushi shop.   The whole piece of eel (cost about RM 30) is already cooked and we just need to put in a microwave to warm it up.

Here is the picture of sushi I made: Unagi Nigiri and Maki Sushi with cucumber and egg. Not bad from the look, right? That is one thing good about home-made sushi : we can cut the eel bigger and have a mouthful of eel, compared to the little thin piece of eel when we eat at outside Japanese food shop.

At first, my daughter refused to eat the maki sushi, may be the flavor is too plain. I have done a trick by spreading the eel source (taste sweet) on top of the maki sushi, and guess what, she finished all the maki sushi I made for her. 

Make Yourself Happy During Pregnancy

Today, I heard from the radio discussing about children's behaviour is closely related to the mother's emotion during pregnancy. Hm...I totally agree with this and have been sharing this important fact with many friends.

My experience comes from my 2 children, which has opposite childhood behavior; the big sister is very hot-temper, sensitive, and too afraid of stranger. She cried a lot at night and easily get sick when she was 1-2 years old, average to once a month. The little brother is just the opposite; cheerful, easy-going with stranger, more obedient and more easy to take care of.

After i had my second baby, i only realised this difference and it was linked to my emotion during the pregnancy. During the first pregnancy, my emotion is more tense due to work and family. I worked very hard and i seldom relax during my work. See, our working life makes about 70% of our life after deducting the sleeping time. Not happy at work means our life is not happy.

But, during my second pregnancy, i worked with more colleages who like to make fun everytime. The laughter, the food sharing and talks about our kids really help in relaxing the emotion. Besides, maybe we don't easily get angry while we get older. And there i got a happy and funny son.

Although those activities like listening to slow music, talk to your baby during the pregnancy may help a little, but i strongly believe the pregnancy emotion plays the bigger role.

So, mom-to-be, remember to make yourself HAPPY during the PREGNANCY so you will have a happy and healthy baby.