My son does not feel he belongs to me.

Recently Hong Jin was being asked: “Who does Hong Jin belongs to”? and he answered “Kakak”. Kakak means the Indonesian maid who takes care of him since he was born. When he was asked, “Who does your sister belongs to?” He answered “mommy lah”.

Then, we told him “Can you call your kakak Mommy since you belong to her?” He denied.  What are all the reasoning to these answers? This is the sad story for a busy working mother. For me, I always feel sorry to him since I spent less time with him, and make him feel I care his sister more than him, so his sister belongs to me, but he doesn't.  My little Hong Jin, mommy wants to let you know mommy loves you both; mommy is just too busy and tired to talk, or play with you.

The good thing is I know my maid really takes good care of him, and makes him feel safe and happy.

Luckily, deep inside him, mommy is still mommy, *<>*

Private time with  the little son

我家有儿不肯上学When my boy refused to go to school

宏缙今年四岁了，应该上幼儿园了。打从去年开始，我就常告诉他要带他上学了， 而他当然说不要。大家和他打趣说，不去上学就要买只牛给他牵，他不懂就理，还说好，还说不过不要太大只，因为他的房门太小不能进。我已经知道这小子非常难搞。半骗半拉的，每天都要哭闹一番的，终于也把他带到学校去，陪他三个星期，让他熟悉环境，老师。可是，似乎他还是非常抗拒上学，每天睡醒第一句话，就是哭说不要上学，看得他婆婆心痛死了，怎么办？做妈妈的心好挫折，眼看别的小朋友都可以适应了，老师们说把他带来，不要再陪他，当时我还在犹豫，让他哭，孤孤单单的哭真的有帮助吗？

直到和院长的一番话，我才了解到为什么不可陪他。当我们在学校陪他，他总是紧靠着我们，老师们也没机会接触他，我们不在，才能让他对老师产生依赖。就这样，我先告诉他妈妈要去做工，一下子就来带他回家，他很害怕，一直拉着我的手，怕我离开。我让有经验的院长和他说话，乘他不注意时离开。躲起来看他，哭得好凄惨，哭到呕吐。。。。

情形终於慢慢好转了，院长说他适应得很好，哭得少了， 还可以和小朋友一起玩了，可他还是睡醒哭不要上学。孩子，我们要一起加油。遇到同样问题的妈妈们，也要加油！

Most parents faced the same situation like me when they brought their kids to preschool. Accompanying them to familiarize the school and the teachers for 1-2 weeks is a must for some kids. My boy struggles hard not to go to school, having bad dream, begging not to bring him to school.

When we are around, he always sit close to us, afraid that we will leave him alone.This give no chance to the teacher to get close with him. I finally realized the point that we must leave him and not accompaning him in school(after he had familiar with the environment in school) is to get the him to build  trust with the teachers.This really works, my boy now cried less and can play with friends...although he still crying when we want to get him to school in the morning.

不陪他的第三天，贴心的院长拍的。
Taken by his teacher on the third day of non-accompanying.