Ups and Downs of Sibling Relationship

It feels so good when I see both kids of mine play peacefully together. I begin to think they will have a close sibling to share their happiness and sadness in the future. Jin Hui, the big sister feels she is no longer lonely with her little brother’s companionship.

When she visited the new born baby Hong Jin at the hospital, she cried terribly when she saw me with the new born baby in the baby room. We thought she was jealous because she never share mommy with anyone for the long period of 4 years. But, no, we were wrong; we finally got her answer that she cried because mommy did not wait for her to meet the baby brother. Her love for her baby brother started since my pregnancy, I guess. She kept asking about when will her baby brother came out from my stomach.

However, things were different after the new arrival. The family attention shifted to the new baby and she started to feel jealous and hide at a corner to complain that nobody likes her. As her mother, I would try to spend more time with her, encourage her to play and have fun with her little brother, and tell her to take care and protect her little brother. I think she will gradually get used to share her mom’s love.

Nevertheless, the sibling rivalry happened almost every day after the little brother grows bigger and stronger. Big sister, Jin Hui is always the one who cry first, and little Hong Jin to show he is pity too. We just need to repeat so that they do not hurt each other but to take care of each other. I really hope they will grow up to share a close sibling bonding and to take good care of each other when we are not there for them someday.

How do you help fostering a good sibling relationships? Do your kids complaint about bias? Do we always have the older sibling to let the younger one play with their favorite toys first?

My Son's Confession

I am just a toddler, close to 2 years old. There are many things I do but adults seem don’t like it. They will give me angry faces, and I will return them with a smiley face.

·         I like to pull my sister’s hair and see her crying. Then I will pad her hair softly back to calm her down. Then I will pull again…haha, it is fun.

·         I like to play with water. I will purposely dirty my hand so I have reason to wash my hand at the water tap. Sometimes, they allow me to play longer and it will end up to be a water -splash-wholebody fun.

·         When I drink water, I like to spit the water out from my mouth. This wets the floor and my clothes. Then, I can play with the water on the floor. But when mommy is around with her finger ready to beat my mouth, I will swallow the water nicely.

·         I enjoy eating different kinds of food. When I don’t like them, I will spit out everywhere. Then, I will see many ants coming around.

·         I like to play with electric plugs and switch. It is wonderful when I switch, the light just turns on. But mommy always brings me away and told me they can shock me. What is the feeling of “shock”?

·         I am very observing. Those little things on the floor will not skip from my eyes. I will put all things into my mouth to taste even the lizard’s litter.

·         I like to take out all my clothes from my closet. It is fun to bring all out and bring all in again for a boring toddler like me.

·         I like to switch off the TV so the adults don’t just ignore me. But grandma will frighten me with rubber band to beat me and ask me to switch on back. Sometimes, I will be a good grandson and switch on for her.

·         I like to play with my sister but sometimes she doesn’t allow me to play because she says I will mess up. So, I will grab her toys and run away quickly.

My Son's First Words

My son at his 20 months begins to learn talking actively. It is a very funny stage for all toddlers. When we teach him to speak, he will follow sometimes but sometimes not, unless we seduce him with some foods. He feels funny too when he followed us to speak and will laugh together with us. Sometimes he gets shy and will close his face with his hands.

The 10 first words we taught him to speak besides the papa, mama, jie jie (sister), popo(grandma), pepe(uncle), yiyi(untie), kakak(the maid) are like below:

·         Xie xie (thank you in mandarin)

·         Hot cili (he pronounced as hot cici)

·         Magic (when he hides things under the pillow)

·         W-E-L-C-O-M-E (he pronounced as wahlah)

·         Moon (he pronounced more like mom)

·         Lamp (this he say correctly)

·         Qie (cut in mandarin)

·         Bird

·         Open

·         Mom mom(means things to eat)

See how he talked just for the "mom mom"!

What toothpaste is safe for your kids?

Have you ever wondering is the toothpaste you bought for your kid is safe for used? I am very concerned about this because after my survey, most toothpastes (including kids toothpastes)sold in our Malaysia's local super market consists of Sodium Lauryl Sulfate(SLS). SLS is an important foaming agent used in many personal care cleaning products, such as shampoo, body wash, soap, and mouth wash.  Its relative, sodium laureth sulfate (SLES), is sometimes used as a replacement for SLS and claim for less irritating.

I have read from many articles(one of them is Journal of The American College of Toxicology, 1983 (http://www.natural-health-information-centre.com/sls-JACT-report.html)) and get to know the severe effect of SLS and SLES to skin and its toxic accumulation in our lungs, liver, heart and brain. It also causes mouth ulcers(my daughter has suffered from month ulcer very frequently last 2 years when she still used the SLS containing toothpaste).

Immediately, I think about what if our little toddler accidentally swallowed the toothpaste containing the SLS.  SLS had an LD 50 (Lethal Dose for 50% of the animals tested) of 0.8 to 110 g/kg in rats. If you toddler weights 15kg, the lethal dose is 12g to 1650g of SLS. Although this is quite a high dose, I would rather choose to avoid toothpaste containing SLS. 

 

I finally found a kids’ toothpaste without SLS in our local market, i.e. PUREEN KIDS TOOTHPASTE, introduced by a dentist when we brought our daughter to repair her 4 pieces of decayed tooth.

http://pureen.com.my/Oral-Care/Kids-Toothpaste-Fluoride-Free/flypage.tpl.html 

A Journey Towards Braveness

I once brought my daughter to take part in a coloring competition, participated by kindergarden kids from around Sungai Petani area. She is not very good at coloring, but I figured that would be a good experience for her—to learn what a competition is, to brave herself to take part in a competition and to build her self-confidence.

To my surprise, there was a big crowd when we reached the competition venue; around 60 kids were taking part. My daughter started to get nervous and began crying; begging me to go home. Well, I tried to comfort her and continue the mission. And then I realized that we should bring our own table and chair(what a silly mother I am). So without a choice, I had to ask my daughter to sit on the floor and bend her body to complete her task. She felt easy later when the organizing party asked all parents to leave the area and I stood outside the area to accompany her.

I then felt amazed when she started to color independently. She seem to know that she can’t ask her mom’s opinion on what colors she should used because it was a competition. But she will turned back to look at me and I replied with smile to signal her that she was doing alright. But in the middle of the coloring section, she did a small mistake and caused a boy in the picture with invisible hands. Then, she started to feel discouraged, but she also knew she can’t start over because it was a competition.  At least, she still finished it and passed to the organizing committee for marking.

I am proud of her to brave herself to take the challenge and complete it with her natural heart. I told her it is not important whether you won the competition or not, but it is the journey you went through towards braveness and self-esteem!



Happy face at the beginning






Moody face at the end