My son does not feel he belongs to me.

Recently Hong Jin was being asked: “Who does Hong Jin belongs to”? and he answered “Kakak”. Kakak means the Indonesian maid who takes care of him since he was born. When he was asked, “Who does your sister belongs to?” He answered “mommy lah”.

Then, we told him “Can you call your kakak Mommy since you belong to her?” He denied.  What are all the reasoning to these answers? This is the sad story for a busy working mother. For me, I always feel sorry to him since I spent less time with him, and make him feel I care his sister more than him, so his sister belongs to me, but he doesn't.  My little Hong Jin, mommy wants to let you know mommy loves you both; mommy is just too busy and tired to talk, or play with you.

The good thing is I know my maid really takes good care of him, and makes him feel safe and happy.

Luckily, deep inside him, mommy is still mommy, *<>*

Private time with  the little son

我家有儿不肯上学When my boy refused to go to school

宏缙今年四岁了，应该上幼儿园了。打从去年开始，我就常告诉他要带他上学了， 而他当然说不要。大家和他打趣说，不去上学就要买只牛给他牵，他不懂就理，还说好，还说不过不要太大只，因为他的房门太小不能进。我已经知道这小子非常难搞。半骗半拉的，每天都要哭闹一番的，终于也把他带到学校去，陪他三个星期，让他熟悉环境，老师。可是，似乎他还是非常抗拒上学，每天睡醒第一句话，就是哭说不要上学，看得他婆婆心痛死了，怎么办？做妈妈的心好挫折，眼看别的小朋友都可以适应了，老师们说把他带来，不要再陪他，当时我还在犹豫，让他哭，孤孤单单的哭真的有帮助吗？

直到和院长的一番话，我才了解到为什么不可陪他。当我们在学校陪他，他总是紧靠着我们，老师们也没机会接触他，我们不在，才能让他对老师产生依赖。就这样，我先告诉他妈妈要去做工，一下子就来带他回家，他很害怕，一直拉着我的手，怕我离开。我让有经验的院长和他说话，乘他不注意时离开。躲起来看他，哭得好凄惨，哭到呕吐。。。。

情形终於慢慢好转了，院长说他适应得很好，哭得少了， 还可以和小朋友一起玩了，可他还是睡醒哭不要上学。孩子，我们要一起加油。遇到同样问题的妈妈们，也要加油！

Most parents faced the same situation like me when they brought their kids to preschool. Accompanying them to familiarize the school and the teachers for 1-2 weeks is a must for some kids. My boy struggles hard not to go to school, having bad dream, begging not to bring him to school.

When we are around, he always sit close to us, afraid that we will leave him alone.This give no chance to the teacher to get close with him. I finally realized the point that we must leave him and not accompaning him in school(after he had familiar with the environment in school) is to get the him to build  trust with the teachers.This really works, my boy now cried less and can play with friends...although he still crying when we want to get him to school in the morning.

不陪他的第三天，贴心的院长拍的。
Taken by his teacher on the third day of non-accompanying.

Being Princess ....On Her Own

My girl, took part in her school's costume competition last 2 week. I was in China that time and not able to help her to dress up and make up. Luckily her friend's mother helped her to make up, and another friend's mother snapped this nice picture for me. 

All girls dream to become princess...she is no exception. She was now brave to walk on stage and even showed some posts.

She seems to enjoy participating in those school activities now. The first Chinese poem citing, she was still too nervous to speak out, audience can't even hear her voice. But the second Chinese story telling, she told me she was brave to speak out loud. Although she is still far from winning a prize, I am proud of her because she is in the journey of gaining self-confidence.

She later told me she tight her hair nicely, put on the crown and she was so beautiful.

三岁的叛逆和自我意识

虽说是养了2个孩子，对于管教孩子还是不能得心应手。常常被自己老妈投诉孩子坏，一点就大喊大叫。可是，老妈呀，你可知道我也是速手无策。

迈进三岁的宏缙，开始不听话了，我行我素，喜欢做的东西不给就大哭，我想这就是叛逆期了。常爱拿扫把当刀枪， 挥来挥去，我们要他收起，他当耳边风， 什么东西都要自己做，自己冲凉，自己吃饭，昨天看我帮他姐姐挖耳朵，他竟然说他要帮姐姐挖，可见他觉得自己的能力范围还蛮大的。当我看着他拿花洒自己冲凉的那一刹那，小小的身躯，水都不能准确的喷到头发，心想这孩子开始要独立自主了。

看了专家写关于三岁的自我意识，用哭来引人注意，还说没有叛逆期的孩子不正常， 因为会比较没有意志力，（暗暗自喜），只要做妈妈的细心引导， 孩子是会安然度过这过度期的，难免宽心了点。

说到我这儿子，他还是有很多可爱的地方。昨天让他睡觉时听到他改歌词，妈妈唱，“小宝宝，快睡觉，明天一早起来”，他接着唱，‘小宝宝，快睡觉，明天一早起来吃lollipop"。三岁的他也常让人出乎意料吧！

他也想像大人一样开火煮菜，玩得不亦乐乎。

向高爬是男儿本色？

Kuala Lumpur trip

Recently during the mid school holiday, we brought our kids to Kuala Lumpur, a long trip i consider because they have never leave home for such a long time - 4 days.

We first brought them to KLCC, to see the beautiful Malaysian-pround Twin Tower. They first "wah" and excited when seeing so many sky-rocketed buildings. Later, for some reason it seem bored for them already(maybe due to long hours sitting in the car, because their father didn't know the direction well). We visited the Aquaria in KLCC, which i think not bad to visit, the most giant view is the long tunnel where we saw 2 big sharks, monster fish(魔鬼鱼), tortoise and many other unknown fishes.

Giant monster fish...just realize the body's bottom looks like a smiling face!

Very hungry Pirana fish, leave only bones!

A giant cylinder aquarium.... magnificent view!

"What is that fish, mommy?"......A fantastic experience for the lttle one!太多鱼了，真是目不暇给！

A family photo in front of big fake shark.

The next day and the following days, we were out of ideas of where to bring them to. So, we brought them to The Mines to have the expensive boat rides(~RM 25 per adult for 20 minutes), to feed fishes(this was the most happy moment for kids).

Boat rides at "The Mines"...凉风阵阵，蛮不错啦。

Ice-cream time!

While hanging out at "The Garden", kids were attracted to the beautiful water fountain.

Finally at the last night we stayed in K.L., the tired little Hong Jin begged us to go home. When we asked him whose "home" to go to, he said " Hong Jin's home". Although we have wonderful time during the trip, still the most comfortable place is our home. "Home Sweet Home", even to the little one.

A mother's worry of lower English in Chinese Primary School

My daughter, Jin Hui has been attending Chinese Primary School for 4 months. In Malaysia, the Chinese Primary School  means teaching and communicating in Chinese where the students are also being taught Malay and English languages but regretfully English is only taught 1 hour per week.

Basically, she likes the school, the teachers and friends and begin to like learning Chinese. Writing in Chinese was a suffer for her when she was in kindergarten because Chinese was introduced to her at a later stage after she learnt the easier English writing. I am very thankful to her teachers who are very detailing in correcting her minor Chinese writing error. I could foresee she will master Chinese language very well in the next few years.

Most of the school buildings are funded by Malaysian Chinese public,
the names of the major donators are written on the buildings.

3-storey classroom, to be shared by both morning and afternoon classes.

However, the disadvantage to send to Chinese Primary School is they are getting less chance to study English, which is undeniable important for her future life, either in higher education or working. How can I help her to be competent in English as well, especially able to speak in English loud without shy? Besides, I am quite surprise to find out how simple and easy is their Standard One English's textbook.  They are still teaching "good morning, good afternoon... and other simple single words, which they have learned well 2-3 years before in their kindergarten. They never have an English spelling while they have Chinese and Malay spelling every week. Most of the Malaysian children attended 2-3 years of preschool and already have some min. explosure on English, and i think some changes must be made on enhancing the level of the English standard, but not to debate over and over again about teaching Mathematics and Science in English. Just remember ~ children are able to learn as much as they are challenged. 

Jin Hui and her cousin in school uniform

Exploring Grandma's Garden

My little son loves to explore his grandma's garden...almost every evening except the raining days. He learns to name the trees, the fruits, enjoying touching the plants too.

He sometimes accompanys the grandma to pick the chilli. Maybe someday he can help her grandma to plant the trees, to clear the grasses, and learn the art of growing.

Give me a SMILE before our exploration!

The delicous and juicy pineapple...even a toddler likes it!

Grandma planted this so-called"mulberry tree"
for the joy of little Hong Jin's picking.

"Youtun" tree, the leaves are believed to treat cancer.
We sometimes blended with apples to make juices.

Picking wild flowers...when asked who to give,
disappointedly not to mommy, but to throw away..! Oh! What a boy!